Sunday, September 19, 2010

First Post...let's see how far I get before my ADHD kicks in...

So this is my first post. I want it to be exciting. Titilatting. Fireworks-worthy. But i'll settle for finished.

First off, I feel like maybe I should introduce myself to the 0 to 5 people/random strangers that might ever be so bored as to stumble across my blog. Hello. Im Teddy. No, its not my real name. But having the last name Graham and having worked my youth through a public school system, my classmates decided to be inventive and original and nickname me "TEDDY" The brains of the world united to create that one. Nicknamed after a sweet snack cracker. I don't even like "Teddy Grahams" to be honest, but you can't exactly pick your own nickname so thats what I got...and it stuck...and was better than the one time I was referred to as Nutter Butter....or the Pull-Out Bandit.

I'm chatty. Way too chatty for my own good. But I have alot of thoughts. And im not sure how it works with humans, but I remember someone telling me once that there are types of animals that can die if their brains get too big. Maybe they were lying. Maybe they were fucking with me. But it made an impression on my young mind. So as to NOT die from an inflated mind, I chose to randomly release thoughts and deflate it a bit. Working in customer service is a great way to chit-chat with people, but unfortunately, i'm only allowed to talk about espresso makers, what kind of knives are great for cutting steaks, and why the customer was charged shipping on their order. Not about the time I stole a baby chicken from the state fair...but more on that later.

I am also a pain in the ass. I know this. Not because of the many times I have been told this, but just as a sense of self. Im aware, okay?  Im stubborn and tempermental and think im the shit even though I acknowledge that there are way cooler people than me out there...Like, Robert Downey Jr and iJustine and the main charactor from "The Ladies Man". Not Tim Meadows, but the "Ladies Man" Leon Phelps. If a man every tries to pick me up by saying something super classy like"Hey, can I buy you a fish sandwich?"...well, that will be the man for me.

I type the way I think. If you are still following me at this point then I am amazed because I know how I go off on tangents...and then forget what I was talking about in the first place. But thats just part of my charm. Another part is that I am super picky about things that I eat, clothes that I wear and people that I associate with. I eat, dress, and associate with people depending on my mood at the time. If I feel like eating a gyro at best believe that I will be making a trip to the grocery store and praying that it can be microwaved. If I feel like wearing a dress with blue jeans, rain boots, and a cowboy hat, then guess who is going to work dressed like a insufferable 5 year-old? This girl. And, if I don't like someone, they will know about it. Nearly instantaneously. Conversations usually go like this:

Annoying Person: "Hi, im <insert annoying person's name here - usually something like Brittany but spelled in a random dumb way, like Brittoni>, Ashellie's friend. Nice to meet you."

Me: "Is that the American spelling of Brittany or the French spelling?" <--I like to be a pain in the ass and ask customers this question when they call in to place an order, even if their name is Bob or John. Their confusion makes me giggle.

Annoying Person: "You're totally funny! And I love the cute way you are wearing your dress over jeans. So retro! We should grab a drink or something you like to Zumba? I try to fit it in between tanning and not eating...We should go sometime!"

Me: "....."

Annoying Person: "Why are you walking away.....?"

It's just alot easier for me to walk away from people I dont like, rather than sit and ruin their low self-esteemed induced from too many nights of watching The Hills reruns with a pint of Chunky Monkey.

I don't have alot of friends that I hang out with on a normal basis. But thats okay with me. Im a bit of a loner, honestly though, I just prefer my own company to that of most people I know.

Oh yeah, and this is Nugget, the baby chicken I stole from the State Fair:


Kimmee & Gavin said...

Awesome! Keep it coming! Thoughts, beliefs, vents, rants, etc!


nichole said...

as your bestie, and Nugget's other Mommy..
i would like to tell you that you are amazing.
and i love you. with all my heart.
and even when im mad at you...
i always love that you can say stuff like THIS.. at complete random moments and make my worst days better.
p.s.-- the bears play the packers next monday. call my dad and tell him the pack is goin down. kay? thnx.

love always.

Dezmond said...

soooo basically "teddy"...that was AMAZING!!!

Allison said...

I wish this blog had a "like" or even better...a "love" tab that I could click on! That's pretty fantastic and the scarey part--i was able to follow every bit of it while pretending to hear your voice in my head reading it!!! LOL--Keep it up, I enjoyed the laughs!

gregchappell1982 said...

its a really good blog. Lets everyone know how you feel. i look forward to seeing more.

Anonymous said...

my mind is still racing, trying to comprehend the awesomeness that is your blog! keep up the good work kiddo, and give em hell tiger!

Corey said...

I totally endorse the POB nickname lol